Saudade

Sometimes I wake up feeling something that only people who speak portuguese know what is: saudade. No other language has a word with the same meaning. In english you can say homesickness, nostalgia, but it´s much more than that. Saudade can make me feel deeply sad for that is too far from me, can make me cry only by to see a picture, listen a music, or drinking cashew juice. Sometimes just one single word said in a movie makes saudade comes up. And saudade brings also a lot of memories that will make me feel more saudade... Trix is in Brasil. I can remember him always but sometimes my memory is plentiful of saudade and I feel like to hold him, to caress him, to play with him. I feel saudade of my father who is resting in the stardust. I know I never will hear his voice again, I never will see on his face again that proud for something good I did, I never will awake in the middle of the night again with my heart jumping out of me and thinking: don´t worry, dad is just some meters away, and then sleep again. I never will see him again coming from work and walking to home as I used to do everyday when was a kid, and wait sitting on the ground. Never again my magic father will use a magic medicine to kill my pain as he did when I had a nail spat in my foot. So, I can just look the stars in a clean and dark night and pray.